How is therapy going?

I want to say good.

I want to be excited.

My reticence is somewhat suffocating. I would feel a lot more optimistic if I didn’t feel like I’ve said all this before. Like, we haven’t been trying our hardest for a decade.

Lawrence said he feels like I’m just slowly realizing that he sucks. Was that a disarming strategy? He doesn’t suck. I think he’s marvelous. Bullshit and all. Its just…

Just what?

I need recognition when he fucks up. Is that too much to ask?

Real effort to amend. I want to thoroughly explain how his actions effected me without interruption or explanation or shame for complaining, so I don’t end up with all this emotional litter everywhere.

I make the kids apologize when they’re assholes. And I don’t let the offender explain themselves. I say, no no no… stop talking. that’s about you. this is about them. just listen. recognize. and be sorry dammit. then you can sort your shit. tell them what you wish you had done different. promise to take a specific action in the future. and then follow through.

Without that… you’re just building a junkyard.